When I was in college part of my nursing program was assisting in a physical education class designed for disabled adults. I have to be honest when I say I began the class with an attitude of pity for them. I felt sorry for them. As a 19 year old I didn't have a lot of life experience or much of an understanding of others. The folks there quickly educated me on who they were and what they expected. It was a very valuable life experience for me. They taught me a lot about respect, boundaries and personal ability.
There was one woman I worked with that I will never forget. I will call her June. June suffered with Multiple Sclerosis. She was completely wheel chair bound at this time. It was my job to help June with machines created to keep her muscles toned and prevent atrophy. The machines created movements similar to walking and other activities, but in positions that could accommodated a person in a wheelchair. At first I handled June like fine China. I was fearful of hurting her. I would start the machines on low and not move them up. I talked to her with what I thought was compassion, but looking back on it I spoke to her as if she was an infant. June was a very smart woman. She understood very quickly that I was pitying her because of her disability. I wasn't challenging her or helping her to rise to another level. June had enrolled in the program to be helped and enabled, not pitied. June's mind was completely in tact and she gave me a piece of it that day! June was one tough cookie.
Initially, I was hurt. Here I was trying to help this woman and she just read me the right act! In time I began to see that she was right. My attitude changed and by the end of the semester June and I had become partners in her progress and it was really hard to say goodbye to my new friend. She was an incredible teacher. She passed away a few years later.
In parenting children with emotional disabilities I have been drawing on those lessons that June and others like her taught me. I have not perfect at it. I'd be the first one to tell you that. Here are just a few:
1.) Don't pity me. In my mind that keeps me "disabled" and I want to see myself and be seen as able!
2.) Challenge me. Never except a mediocre attempt from me at anything. You are going to have to push me at times. I want to feel successful!
3.) Be a leader not a mush! You will keep me sick if I can walk on you and others. I can't respect you if you don't take the lead.
There was one woman I worked with that I will never forget. I will call her June. June suffered with Multiple Sclerosis. She was completely wheel chair bound at this time. It was my job to help June with machines created to keep her muscles toned and prevent atrophy. The machines created movements similar to walking and other activities, but in positions that could accommodated a person in a wheelchair. At first I handled June like fine China. I was fearful of hurting her. I would start the machines on low and not move them up. I talked to her with what I thought was compassion, but looking back on it I spoke to her as if she was an infant. June was a very smart woman. She understood very quickly that I was pitying her because of her disability. I wasn't challenging her or helping her to rise to another level. June had enrolled in the program to be helped and enabled, not pitied. June's mind was completely in tact and she gave me a piece of it that day! June was one tough cookie.
Initially, I was hurt. Here I was trying to help this woman and she just read me the right act! In time I began to see that she was right. My attitude changed and by the end of the semester June and I had become partners in her progress and it was really hard to say goodbye to my new friend. She was an incredible teacher. She passed away a few years later.
In parenting children with emotional disabilities I have been drawing on those lessons that June and others like her taught me. I have not perfect at it. I'd be the first one to tell you that. Here are just a few:
1.) Don't pity me. In my mind that keeps me "disabled" and I want to see myself and be seen as able!
2.) Challenge me. Never except a mediocre attempt from me at anything. You are going to have to push me at times. I want to feel successful!
3.) Be a leader not a mush! You will keep me sick if I can walk on you and others. I can't respect you if you don't take the lead.
4.) Don't take it personal. I am hurting and it isn't about you!
5.) Love me, even when I am not lovable. Love and pity are not the same thing and I know the difference.
June was a real gift to me. I didn't know that I would one day adopt two children. I had no idea I would adopt a child with reactive attachment disorder. God did. He knew all of it then. He used June to open my eyes and educate me. I am still learning. This is a new world to me in many ways. I do believe in my heart God will continue to show me the way and help me to accomplish His will. Where I am unable, He is ABLE.
2 Corinthians 9:8:8 And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.
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