Performing

The famous bard from Avon, William Shakespeare, wrote into the script of his play, As You Like It, these lines-

"All the world's a stage,And all the men and women merely players.They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts."





It all starts out rather innocently enough. Let me dance a little dance. I will sing you a little song. Perhaps I could tell you a good joke or two?

You want to do a good thing. You want people to like you, approve of you and appreciate your gifts and talents. You might even think God expects it of you. You might think that maybe if you just did a little more or did it better perhaps He would love and accept you more. You know that His love, acceptance and grace is there, but maybe it is just for other people, not you. Sure He died on a cross for you, but you barely made the cut and you are going to have to make it up by doing laps. Then there are the voices from the past and the present around you that unknowingly and unwittingly confirm that message and add a little shame to the poison pot you have prepared for yourself. In your head you know that it is wrong, but in your heart the truth just won't stick. So you keep striving.


Trying to be good enough, smart enough, talented enough, spiritual enough and meet the expectations of others and of yourself whether real or imagined is exhausting. Sure, in the beginning you have enough stamina. You keep striving and working and pushing through the fatigue. You take on things you know you have no business doing and your priorities begin to blur. You don't ask for help, that would be considered weak, right? You power through it alone and you look pretty good on the outside, but on the inside the house of cards is coming down. You have trained everyone around you to think you have it all together and that you are "strong and capable". They never suspect the battle that is taking place inside you. Maybe some do, but are not real comfortable with that idea, so they ignore it. Confusion sets in and you wonder how in the world did you get here? There is something inside that is telling you that your focus is way off but you are so entrenched in works and busyness that you can't even pause to ponder that still small voice beckoning you to rest and listen a bit. Before you know it you hit a wall and you are sick, tired and burnt out!

I wish I could say I have never experienced that, but I can't. The wheels of my vehicle can easily slide onto that well worn road. I have lost my focus and I caved to the expectations I thought others had of me and expectations I had of myself. The weight of it all overtook me like a strong wave and sent me tumbling to the depths of exhaustion. I bowed down to an idol of performance and approval and forgot the love, grace and acceptance my Lord has for me. Performance is a pretty rotten god. Performance is what the Israelites did for years in the form of sacrifices, rituals and laws. Performance is what this carnal world expects and demands. Performance only serves to frustrate, irritate and leave you beaten on the side of the road discarded, empty and disillusioned.

Matthew 11:28-30
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."


The true God, the Living God calls to you. He asks you to be still. (Psalm 46:10) Come away with Me for a bit He speaks to your heart. Lay your weary head on my shoulder. Pause. Know my child that I love you and accept you right where you are. No matter what you do or don't do you are Mine. Rest in Me.

Ecclesiates 2:11 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.

Religious performance just presents mankind with another stage, on which to engage in yet another avenue of "role-playing." We are not mere players in His play. We are His children. We are not slaves, but His beautiful bride. We are not an ememy of God, but a friend. Our worth is not based on what we do or do not do. We are worthwhile because He took great pleasure in making us. We can never do enough to be accepted because we already are through our relationship with Jesus Christ. Our performance is null and void and will not earn us a spot in heaven because He has already done all that would ever be needed on the cross.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from youselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do " (Eph. 2:8,9).

Lord God help us to stop performing and start letting You live your life through us. Forgive us. Help us Lord to rest in you and remember your love, grace and acceptance for us through your Son Jesus Christ. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Steel Magnolias and Weeping Willows

I was thinking about this today after having had a difficult week with my son "Football". He was physically violent a few times at school last week to some children that didn't take too kindly to being controlled and manipulated by him. Nothing serious and it was only twice which actually is a pretty big improvement from where we have been. I was remembering a scene from the movie Steel Magnolias when all the women where in Truvy's beauty shop were gossiping and joking around and then all of a sudden Shelby has a pretty severe low blood sugar episode. Shelby's mom, M'Lynn, handles the episode so well. It is so tragically commonplace for Shelby to have these episodes that M'Lynn instinctively gives her juice, all while taking Shelby's verbal swings at her in stride. Her blood sugar returns to normal. Everyone in the shop seems to "get" what is going on and are loving and supportive during and after the episode.

I wish sometimes I could be more like M'Lynn when our episodes occur and I wish sometimes that everyone "got" it. Sometimes I feel so alone with all of this. With a mental disorder like Reactive Attachment Disorder many people just think you have a kid you can't control. Some people can't understand why you have to be so structured and firm or why you have to stop and explain cause and effect...over and over and over again. They don't get why you won't let him more than a few feet away from you or why you have a difficult time relaxing. There are days I do well. I am a "Steel Magnolia" and am loving, understanding and doing the best I can do for my child never personalizing his behavior or the behavior or judgement of others. Then there are days I am a Weeping Willow. I get tired. I droop and want to give up. I look around and all my leaves are falling off! I take personally his behavior and the opinion of others real or imagined. I feel alone, isolated and misunderstood.

Well, Steel Magnolias is just a movie. My life is pretty real and so is yours. Sometimes I just have to be weak, so He can show himself strong in my life. I can't do it alone. I need Him and it is in those times that I am a "weeping willow" that I realize that more than ever. He lets me hit that brick wall as a reminder of my weakness and insufficiency. Maybe you can relate, even if your circumstances or struggles are different than mine. We all have a point where we come to the end of what we can "will" ourselves out of emotionally....and I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing when we stop trying to work it out for ourselves and lean on Him. It is a good thing to remove you and your abilities as an object of faith. He is where my strength comes from. He is the all powerful and all sufficient God. I believe when we can grasp that that He can work through us and accomplish more than we ever hoped or imagined. I haven't arrived there, but I am sure working.....on not working at it.

Hebrews 11:33-34 says:

By faith these people overthrew kingdoms, ruled with justice, and received what God had promised them. They shut the mouths of lions, quenched the flames of fire, and escaped death by the edge of the sword. Their weakness was turned to strength. They became strong in battle and put whole armies to flight.

Father I ask you to help us all to rest in our own efforts and to cast our cares on you. Help us to rely on Your strength and not our own. Refresh us and renew us. In Jesus Name, Amen.