Small Potatoes

I am the mom of a special needs child. When people hear that they think he might be in a wheel chair or have autism or downs syndrome. When they see my son they think they are are looking at a normal child. He looks normal, speaks normal, walks normal etc. Then they look at me like I am from another planet or something.

Our youngest son is adopted. He was living in severe neglect with a birth mom who was hooked on Meth. As a result my son has Reactive Attachment Disorder, or RAD as it is known. His disability has nothing to do with intellect or ability. His disability is emotional. This week, for example, he spend time coercing children into giving him their money and possessions. He stole things. He threw things. He charms females into feeling sorry for him and giving him food or money when he has no need for either. He covered his body and clothes with water from the water fountain at school just to see what the teachers would do. Last week he broke things at home and in the classroom. He lies, steal, cheats and sometimes hurts people. He is only 6, but has the sophistication of a 30 year old. I know, a 6 year old con man, pretty crazy. This isn't a once in a while thing for our family, sometimes it is daily. If we are very fortunate it is weekly. We practically have a party when he has a whole week with no antics. It is very difficult to live with and it gets very tiring as you can imagine. Being one step ahead of him can be emotionally exhausting and frequently impossible.

So it has been one of those weeks. In the midst of the Christmas season and all the busyness surrounding that we have had the additional challenge of a really bad week with my youngest son. I am spent and feel like I want to send in my resignation letter right now but I do not know who to mail it to. Just being honest. This job is just too hard. Have you ever felt that way? So I go where I go every morning and look at God's word for answers.

This morning my devotional was about Stephen the martyr. Ouch. I am no martyr and I don't even come close to being in league with this guy. So I read on. The author of this devotional went on to read things about tremendously painful, horrible things that people had been through and went on to explain that she didn't have answers for "why" these things happened. She explained that asking "why" is OK. She further illustrated how the Lord met Stephen in that moment and gave him such grace that he could forgive and ask forgiveness for the very people that were killing him! Stephen was stoned to death while preaching. His outcome was less than what we would view as favorable in our human minds. She gave the following verse:

Acts 7:55-56
But he, being full of the Holy Ghost, looked up stedfastly into heaven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right hand of God, And said, Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God.

Stephen wasn't alone. Do you know how much comfort those words bring to me right now? God was with him, right there in the pain and chaos. He saw Him!

Sometimes there is no trite answer or explanation that a person can give you for why bad things happen. There is no program, no special dance or steps you can follow that will bring a solution to a predicament. The answer lies only in God walking with you through it. It is simple, but profound.

I am not Stephen, not even close, but I know that God is with me through this. Sometimes I can forget though. A few weeks ago my sweet husband was where I was this week...tired and spent. He said, "I can't do this." I said, "you are right, you can't, but God can." This morning my husband said those same words right back to me. God was speaking to me through this wonderful man I am honored to call my husband.

God is with us, even in what we might consider "small potatoes" compared to what Stephen faced that day. He will give us what we need to get through things no matter what the outcome might or might not be.

More than a Conqueror