I'm a Liar....Ok, Was

Disclaimer: This could be offensive, it's not meant to be, it's truthful. Read on if you are game.

I have made a discovery. I am a liar. No, I don't write bad checks, steal or cheat on my taxes. I feel guilty for not putting my shopping cart away in the supermarket parking lot. I am not an obvious liar. Well, at least it wasn't very obvious to me.

Isn't it funny how we don't realize things about ourselves until we are much older and have fought a few bloody rounds in the boxing match of life? Funny, well maybe not, comical, yes. I think some things only come with age, unless of course you are extraordinary. I am not extraordinary, I just pretend to be. I could play extraordinary on TV, but I am not extraordinary. I am just me. It sometimes takes some serious hard knocks for me to learn.

Somehow, long ago, I got it in my head that acting OK meant you are OK. I also thought acting nice made you nice. Being quiet and not telling people how you really feel made you polite and a "lady". Taking others verbal jabs and digs made you brave, a martyr and honorable. The list goes on and on and on......You could probably add a few of your own erroneous "self narratives".

I think society is rather supportive of this self narrative. Don't you? Here is a quiz: What are you "supposed" to say when you are at church or your fellowship and someone asks, "how are you?". You are "supposed" to say, "I am fine, thank you. How are you?" and then expect the very same response, whether you are OK or not. I used to be quite good at this. I am not so good at this anymore. That is making me so uncomfortable, you have no idea, but perhaps it's meant to.

It's so automatic. I mean it turns on before you know it does. After a while you begin to realize you are rather resentful towards certain people. (Not you, come on, you're great! ;) )You have a hard time being in the same room with them. The problem at this point is that you are so detached from yourself you don't even know why you are so uncomfortable around them. You have ceased to exist. You are just a piece of dutiful furniture at that point jumping when told to jump and ignoring what is wrong deep inside. You are angry and you don't even know it. You are walking in unforgiveness and you are not even aware of it. The resentment has been building and now you are just numb inside.

The problem with these self narratives is that they are big, fat, ugly LIES! The worst part about it, beside lying to Abba, is that you have betrayed yourself. I have BETRAYED myself!!  Not to mention you have betrayed the person or persons you are lying to. Did I say "lying", yes that is what I said. If you tell them the truth they may run the other way. Yes, they may leave you. But, I have started to ask myself, are these the relationships I really want to have? Is there any possibility of having an close friendship with a person like that? They are comfortable with the "pretend you", the one that does what they expect, because that is who they think you are. But you are not that person are you? That person will never have the opportunity to grow past their issues and neither will you if you are not truthful. You will never have a close relationship and it's not their fault, it's yours. They may grow, they may not, but you could provide them that opportunity if you'd just tell the truth. It is worth the risk? Yes, I believe it is.

The Word says that "you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." (John 8:32) What does that mean? I think it is fairly multi-dimensional like most everything in YHWH's Word. It has many applications. His Truth is endless and I could really go down a rabbit trail right now, but I won't. For this purpose, the writing of this blog, I think it means to be genuine and authentic. Face who you are. Know the truth about who you are and ask Father to change that about you if it doesn't line up with His Word and cooperate with Him when He brings about circumstances in your life to accomplish that. Ouch....I know.

I have had some serious circumstances brought into my life. Physical issues, depression, along with a special needs adopted child that hurts others, almost daily, for 6 years, to deal with his pain are just a few of them. Everyone has "stuff" and that's just mine...... currently. These challenges are provoking me to become increasingly more honest with myself and with others. This is painful. I won't lie (LOL). Some people have and will walk away as a result. It can be a bit much to deal with some days, I get that. I guess, at this point, I'd rather have that then live another day not being real with the people in my life. I guess I'd prefer to have warriors come alongside me then pretend for people's benefit that I am OK everyday just to keep them as friends.

So maybe you are not like me. You are honest. Good for you! There is no guessing what you think or feel. You pretty much tell it like it is.........but maybe you don't see the skid marks you left on the person you just ran over? It happens. But, I think there is a remedy. Just humor me here. I think the Word provides it.

Ephesians 4:15
^"Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ."

So, maturity is being truthful, but doing it in a loving way. If we, as a body of believers, desire to be mature and function in what He has called us to do, then we need to get real with one another, but do it lovingly. How amazing would that be and how much more could we be one and a powerful force to be reckoned with then? I believe it's possible and it will happen, one day. Watch out when it does!

I am learning, every day. If this is what my 40s have shown me I am going to be seriously blown away by the 50s! I am so grateful that He hasn't given up me. I am so grateful for Him.

Many blessings and love to you in Messiah.

The Invitation

Anger is an interesting thing. It can motivate us to do very good things or it can imprison us and lead us into a deep pit of bitterness. There are two kinds of anger. There is an anger that is a righteous one. The Word speaks of this kind of anger. God gets angry, but His anger is always righteous and in response to the transgression of His Holy Word.

For example, when Moses came down from the mountain, having just received the ten commandments from  YHVH, the people, having just agreed earlier not to make any graven image (Exodus 20:4) had made a golden calf and there they were having a big party and bowing down to the thing. YHVH got angry!

Exodus 32:10 And now let me alone, that my Anger may burn against them, and I may consume them; and I will make of thee a great nation.

The Word is very clear and gives instruction to us in Ephesians 4:26-27 Be angry, but don't sin - don't let the sun go down before you have dealt with the cause of your anger; otherwise you leave room for the adversary. So, yes, be angry, however do not sin in your anger. The only way to not sin in your anger is to be righteous, as is YHVH, and be angry about what angers Him. It isn't easy to be like Him, is it?! The second warning, in this set of scriptures, warns us to resolve such anger before the sun sets, otherwise we will open the door to the adversary, the enemy of all mankind, Ha'Satan. Even righteous anger can turn unrighteous in the human heart, because of our fleshly tendencies, if it is not resolved quickly. Righteous anger will move us at times to take action. Perhaps it is to step in to protect someone. Maybe it is to protect an entire group of individuals. Maybe it is to move us to lovingly confront another believer in his or her sin and hopefully motivate them to reconcile to the Father or another believer. We need to diligently seek the Ruach Ha'Kodesh, The Holy Spirit, to guide us during these times, so that our flesh does not chime in and we are able make decisions that honor Him and His Word. Righteous anger always seeks to restore the order of Yah's Word. Righteous anger never transgresses His Word in it's expression. Righteous anger comes from a very deep love for Ha'Shem and for others and it is not self seeking, it is selfless. It seeks to be resolved quickly.

There are things in this world that we should be angry about. Sin and it's resulting horrific consequences in our society should stir us. Especially when these things are committed against those who are helpless to defend themselves. I would have to check my pulse to see if my heart was still beating if some of the things happening in this world and in my life-time did not anger me. There are some that do not believe anger is appropriate in any circumstance. These individuals may unknowingly be adhering to a philosophy called stoicism. Stoicism, a school of Hellenistic philosophy, is an incredibly unrealistic option that I personally do not practice and I don't know how any human being truly could....unless of course they are not breathing. It sounds great in theory. A bus drives into your house, oh well. Don't get excited. Stoicism, simply put, can be defined very well in Doris Day's rendition of "Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)". It seems to me that far too many in our society have opted for such a philosophy and ignore that which is morally reprehensible as if it were a mere fly on the windshield of a car. There seems to be a serious confusion within circles of believers and in society, as well, that this philosophy comes from the Word of God, when in fact these ideas are rooted in the teachings of Zeno of Citium of Athens and propagated by others in Rome in the early 3rd century BC and not the Word of God. This kind of attitude has created serious, societal altering consequences that have torn at the fabric of our civilization. I don't believe that anxiety is necessary or correct but to feel nothing or worse yet, do nothing, in the face of injustice is just as bad as the injustice itself. Certainly we should become angry, but not at the people involved, because our battle is not against "flesh and blood, but against the powers and principalities of this dark world" (Ephesians 6:12). We should however be angry at the sin itself and the dark spirit or spirits behind it. Very simply put, be angry at the sin, not the sinner.

Now that we have covered the first kind of anger, lets take a look at the second and it's long range, wicked potential. This kind of anger leads to bitterness that can inflict an enormous amount of damage to the individual entertaining it and those closest to him or her. This second kind of anger is very self seeking. This kind of anger begins with an offense or a wound if you will. Most of the time the individual has been hurt by another in the past or perceives that they have. Sometimes they are even angry with God. It must be dealt with quickly, before the sun sets, or it will immediately begin to be very destructive. This unrighteous, unholy anger gives the adversary license to enter our lives. It is an engraved invitation to him. Because he is the liar of all liars he will take full advantage of this invitation that we have given him. This brand of anger has little to do with the Word of God. However, some folks will use the Word illegitimately, twisting it and using it out of context either to justify wrong actions or to be used as a weapon to injure others and maintain control as they entertain anger. The adversary capitalizes on the pain the individual has experienced and drives his talons deep into the existing wound. These people are in serious pain. If the anger continues, it becomes a deep pit of pain piercing through the very depths of one's soul. It becomes what is known as bitterness. It causes the individual to be given to confusion and rage. The world becomes a very distorted place to a person that remains in bitterness. This is a very sad state to live in. I have been there and I don't ever want to be there again.

John 10:10
The thief comes not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

In the eyes of the world system, in my lifetime, I have had more than enough "just" cause to become bitter. Perhaps you have too? If I was a perfect person that excuse might fly. I am not and I don't know of any human being that is. I do know One who is perfect. He is Holy and He is perfect. Forgiveness by and reconciliation to a Holy Elohim was costly. Yahshua, our Messiah, paid that price for us on the tree by the shedding of His blood. We must seek to honor Him and what He did for us by not believing the enemy's lie that somehow we have a "right" to hold on to anger towards others. Let's seek to forgive quickly, let go of our anger and as far as it is up to us live in peace with all men (and women).

Romans 12:18
If it be possible, as much as lies in you, live peaceably with all men.

Anger is a like a dangerous tightrope. Hopefully we can walk it carefully, examining it and making sure that our walk is straight, most importantly using the light of the Word and the counsel of the Holy Spirit to navigate us through it. Once we have done that, lets get to the other side in a rapid fashion. Let's forgive quickly and seek to reconcile in a timely manner as if our very lives depended on it. Who knows, maybe our lives do depend on it? (Job 5:2). Otherwise we might cause an invitation to go out to a visitor we'd rather not entertain; and He comes to steal, kill, and destroy, make no mistake.

Blessings to you!